I don’t know about you, but I have some amazing mom friends. They’re crafty, and super motivated and they do the funnest (not a word, I know) things ever with their kids. Marshmallow fights in the living room. Mud pies in the backyard. Laying on the floor with their kids to play for hours. Arranging playdates and sleepovers and epic parties and more. They’re so cool. And man, I wish I was a mom like that.
But really, I’m not a fun mom.
I’m a boring mom, mostly. Task oriented, focused and a little too serious, probably. I have fun, but it’s usually not in the crazy-messy kind of way. For one thing,
I hate crafts.
Especially the disposable paper-crap kind that are constantly stuck to the front of my fridge. Art, I love. Crafts I don’t. If I could afford to pay someone to come and do craft projects with my kids, I totally would. Instead, we do crafts together about as often as most people do their taxes, maybe less. The fuss, the mess, the little bits of stuff that end up everywhere… crafts give me hives. Also,
I like my furniture.
It’s not fancy or expensive, but I like it. And I don’t want it used like a jungle gym, art studio, or minivan back seat. If they use playdough it stays on the kitchen table (or it ends up in time out). If we do a pizza and movie night at home, I make our kids sit on the cold tile floor instead of the couch. Because grease stains. And because I like my kids better when they’re not ruining the furniture. Besides that,
I engineer their wardrobes.
It’s for their benefit, really. (Really!) My oldest combines patterns and prints with abandon, and my eyes just can’t take it. Crazy hairstyles? Go for it. Mismatched socks? I’ll manage. But multiple styles of florals on one barely-fifty-pound frame? I just can’t live with that. (Which is why said child no longer owns patterned pants or leggings. And further confirms the fact that I’m just NOT a fun mom.) Finally,
I’m an introvert.
No, it’s not a disease, just the way I process life. But my INFJ, HSP self is not so great at arranging playdates or dreaming up parties. I like people, but our social life is pretty low key. So when my (truly awesome!) fun mom friends tell me about the fifteen different activities they have lined up that week, I just smile and nod. Because,
I may not be a fun mom, but I am a good mom.
I’m not glitter and water balloon fights, but I am balanced meals and snuggles on the couch and regular bedtimes. I may not turn our living room into an obstacle course, but I will slather them in sunscreen and take them to the pool on summer days so they can swim for hours. I may not play dolls ever, or board games as often as I should, but I do love my kids fiercely.
Do I wish I was a fun mom? Sometimes. I mean, look at the memories they’re making! Look at the fun they’re having. I’ve learned so many amazing things from my “fun mom” friends. They inspire me. But if I’m not careful, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling less-than.
I’m also okay being me. When we live authentically, true to ourselves, everyone benefits.
I’m not a fun mom, but that’s okay.
(P.S. Fun or not, whatever kind of mom YOU are, no worries! I’m not judging you.)