‘Don’t judge, but…’
How many times have you heard that from a friend? How many times have you said it? Those times you look at someone else’s life, and feel judged just because you choose to do things differently? Or when you censor your own conversations, and not say what you really think because you’re afraid someone will think you’re judging them?
I’ve been on both sides of that coin, more times than I can count.
In fact, I’ve hesitated to share things here that I truly love to think about and discuss – just because I don’t want to alienate anyone. And it’s true – just talking about things like how much screen time kids should have or how to be more organized is enough to stir up all our insecurities.
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Silencing my own voice, isn’t the solution though, and you shouldn’t silence yours either.
And the truth is, even though we make sometimes drastically different life choices – I’m not judging you. In fact, I honestly think that you should walk your own path, and I should walk mine. This is why:
Walk Your Own Path Because:
YOU ARE NOT A BISCUIT
Not one of us is a stamped out cookie cutter replica of anyone. You are unique, and that uniqueness is one reason you should confidently walk your own path. Because you’re unique, what works for you won’t necessarily work for me. And really,
THERE IS NO PERFECT ROAD
We were grown in different soil, we face different challenges, and we definitely have different perspectives. How then can we even think that there’s just one perfect way to parent, to feed our bodies, or to organize our homes? Besides,
WE’RE ALL JUST WINGING IT ANYWAY
No matter how much planning, intentionality, and research we throw at life – we’re all just winging it and hoping for the best. Your friend that seems to have it all together and then some? She’s winging it too. And I most definitely do not have my ducks in a row, and I have some significant quirks, which is good because,
VARIETY MAKES LIFE MORE FUN
It really does. I may be passionate about living simply, but I have a huge love for history and am so thankful for the curators and collectors in this world. I’m in awe of you extroverted, life-of-the-party, spicy and fun personalities – and I’m happy to be the yin to your yang. Variety is the flavor of life. Also,
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
And joy is far too important to give up that easily. Besides, we’re all so different that trying to measure up to someone who is 100% unique is really foolish. Most of us are just doing our best to make it, and we’re far more consumed with our own lives than anyone else’s. And even if there is some area where you appear to be winging it ‘better‘ than me,
WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN BATTLES
And many people are fighting battles that the world at large will never see. This knowledge should fill us with compassion, and a burning desire to live authentically, and walk our own paths because ultimately,
THE WORLD NEEDS YOU
The real, not-picture-perfect, not-cookie-cutter, amazing just the way you are you. You who I would love to sit in a coffee shop and chat with, and hear your stories and your challenges and your unique perspective on the world. The world needs you, in all your quirkiness, and flaws, and real life hurdles. You choosing to live bravely and walk your own path. That’s enough.
Can we declare a judgement free zone?
Where we each walk our own paths, and you won’t judge my imperfections, and I won’t judge yours? Will you join me in bravely choosing authenticity and compassion (for ourselves, and others) as we shine our own bright lights in the world? Because I’m really excited to see what YOUR path looks like, and I promise: I’m not judging you.
Did this resonate with you in some way? Please let me know in the comments below. And feel free to spread the love by sharing on social media.
Jamie Siebens is a freelance writer and owner of Always-an-Adventure.com, a blog focused on living intentionally and finding beauty in the everyday adventures of life. When she’s not behind a computer screen, you can find her with her husband and two daughters enjoying their current adventure – turning a former 1890’s one room schoolhouse and town hall into their cozy family home.